The Lapis Hotel

2009-05-29T04:42:00.000-05:00

This was taken today. I am master of the the obvious OUTLAW is mr. X rays.

masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:33:20 PM): whats going on?

mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:33:24 PM): nothin
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:33:35 PM): you were naked and not talking
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:33:43 PM): so
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:33:43 PM): lol
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:33:54 PM): haha. okay that is a bit odd
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:34:53 PM): whats going on? your back in the old account lol.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:35:10 PM): no
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:35:11 PM): i dont play
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:35:23 PM): the one they still haven't taken my seasonal crap out of of grrrrr.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:35:31 PM): what do you meaN?
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:35:44 PM): who was that then?
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:35:50 PM): anked etc.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:36:00 PM): naked
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:37:20 PM): you moved all the new collectibles out of zynga friendly
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:37:27 PM): i dont play
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:37:28 PM): this
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:37:29 PM): shit
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:37:56 PM): whwhat are you talking about?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:38:02 PM): i dont play
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:38:03 PM): this
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:38:03 PM): shit
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:38:04 PM): what
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 12:38:06 PM): u dont read
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 12:38:23 PM): yes i read. but i don't know what you are talking about.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:45:29 PM): ryan hacked me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:45:30 PM): lol
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:45:37 PM): he took all
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:45:43 PM): WTF
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:45:53 PM): are you sure it wasn't joody
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:45:58 PM): nopp
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:46:03 PM): check this
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:47:29 PM): im just a dumb fool
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:47:30 PM): such a loser
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:47:35 PM): i keep trustin people
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:47:35 PM): loooooooooooool
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:47:37 PM): im so dumbbbbbbbbbbbb
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:48:07 PM): that between him and candy
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:48:38 PM): did candy send that. it is hard to read can i enlarge it.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:48:52 PM): ryan says to candy
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:48:56 PM): u brought out law to my new account
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:00 PM): candy said
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:05 PM): yes man i didnt know u had all the shit there
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:12 PM): man u takin all from him
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:49:12 PM): you know, you should have give me the stuff back.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:14 PM): dont do that man
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:22 PM): that nigga wanna kill hisself
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:49:22 PM): lol
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:25 PM): for trustin us man
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:29 PM): im suck a lsoer
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:49:32 PM): looooooooooool
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:51:42 PM): damn
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:52:04 PM): nnow they got all the stuff you were holding for me too.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:52:14 PM): i hate ryan
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:52:26 PM): he turned into a greedy fcuk overnight
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:52:29 PM): 2 stages 2 df 2 lavas 6 thrones 6 tigers toilet moose fountain
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:52:38 PM): andd all small stuff new collectibles
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:53:03 PM): i know remember, i put that in the account to make you look rich? lol
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:53:21 PM): which you already where.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:53:31 PM): call down lionheart
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:53:37 PM): and what
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:53:52 PM): have him take em out.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:53:58 PM): what u mean
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:54:01 PM): d rock was banned today
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:54:07 PM): fuck drock
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:54:13 PM): i know.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:54:43 PM): lion offline
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:55:02 PM): i know he isn't on much but i do know he thinks your str8
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:19 PM): i know
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:23 PM): he is my friend long time
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:55:23 PM): i was going to ask him to negotiate with you getting my stuff back
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:55:33 PM): yes. he said that.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:35 PM): i told him from first time
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:40 PM): that ur stff
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:41 PM): with me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:45 PM): and last time
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:48 PM): before couple days
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:53 PM): i was goin to give u pink st age
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:55 PM): and we end this
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:57 PM): but i got scammed
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:57 PM): lol
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:55:59 PM): fake stage
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:56:05 PM): he is also very good at omg
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 2:56:20 PM): well lionheart, he is a good person. maybe he can help you.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:30 PM): nah
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:35 PM): i quit
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:43 PM): maybe i try
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:43 PM): to give u a stage
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:43 PM): or smthn
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:43 PM): but i quit
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:45 PM): cause this time
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:49 PM): i get fuccked
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:56:52 PM): very hard
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:59:04 PM): and dont htink i was hackin u or shit
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:59:06 PM): i talk shit to u
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:59:11 PM): but itell all people i will give u back
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:59:15 PM): and i was goin to do it
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:59:16 PM): b ut u see
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 2:59:25 PM): every thing fuced up
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:00:58 PM): sorry i had to re open i couldn't type.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:01:17 PM): Well, all i know is that
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:01:47 PM): it sounds like candy had some regret but ryan is just one greedy fuck
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:02:17 PM): who is ryan running with now?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 3:02:26 PM): ryan
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 3:02:29 PM): dont want to play
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:02:32 PM): Kappa?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 3:02:32 PM): he want to sell real money
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 3:02:34 PM): and buy weed
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 3:02:38 PM): thats it
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:02:41 PM): lol
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 3:03:00 PM): i swear
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:03:03 PM): cuck
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:05:08 PM): fuck
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 3:05:21 PM): he must roll blunts.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:15:37 PM): What are you going to do now?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:15:45 PM): i got stuff bacj
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:15:49 PM): senioreta
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:16:04 PM): ooooh really? awesome
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:16:12 PM): candy come through?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:21 PM): no
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:23 PM): he came to me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:25 PM): sayin im sorry man
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:29 PM): i dont know how i think to do it
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:32 PM): im so sorry man
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:33 PM): u r my bro
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:34 PM): i never do it
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:39 PM): i dont know what i was thinkin
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:16:41 PM): bla bla bka
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:16:49 PM): aight
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:17:00 PM): ryan is the evil one honestly
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:17:15 PM): he used babes, everyone to get rich.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:17:24 PM): didn't care/
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:17:49 PM): at first i thought he was a nice guy but he got a snort of that yocaine and he went nuts
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:17:56 PM): he is good
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:08 PM): but he got problems
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:09 PM): real life
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:18:11 PM): Ryan?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:14 PM): so he though
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:17 PM): when he scamm me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:19 PM): he can get money
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:20 PM): but now
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:18:22 PM): yeah
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:23 PM): he come to me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:24 PM): and sayin
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:24 PM): sorry
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:27 PM): please
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:28 PM): forgive me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:29 PM): u r my bro
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:18:30 PM): ah
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:18:39 PM): so they got
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:18:47 PM): guilty
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:18:56 PM): well there is hope for them yet.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:18:57 PM): like candy
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:00 PM): they fuck with me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:02 PM): then come kiss ass
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:06 PM): and im so dumb
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:06 PM): have good heart
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:10 PM): i forgive
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:10 PM): and trust again
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:19:10 PM): hahahaha.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:11 PM): lol
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:19:30 PM): well, you fucked with me but haven't given me anything back yet
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:47 PM): i said to all i will give u back
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:50 PM): but it need time
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:52 PM): cause i lost stage
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:54 PM): 5 million
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:19:56 PM): and tahts bad
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:20:00 PM): i know.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:01 PM): that what fucked me
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:03 PM): or stage
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:11 PM): i was goin to give u pink
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:13 PM): and i will keep alot
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:16 PM): 1 stage
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:16 PM): 2 df
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:17 PM): sceptor
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:18 PM): thrones
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:19 PM): tigers
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:21 PM): toilet
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:21 PM): moose
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:22 PM): lavas
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:23 PM): fountain
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:24 PM): that good
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:26 PM): but now
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:29 PM): u can say no coins
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:31 PM): but good stuff
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:37 PM): but why i cant make money now
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:41 PM): cause i bought stuff hight price
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:20:45 PM): now prices down
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:20:50 PM): i don't want coins
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:20:57 PM): i don't want stages
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:21:09 PM): i would love a df and fountains
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:21:28 PM): you don't have to give me all at once
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:35 PM): i just want u
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:36 PM): i know
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:38 PM): i just want u
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:39 PM): to dont worry
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:21:39 PM): prices are fucked.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:40 PM): im here
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:42 PM): and u know
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:46 PM): i wont do shit
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:21:48 PM): just dont worry
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:21:53 PM): i know.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:22:02 PM): but i miss my stuff
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:22:36 PM): prices going down fucked everyone once casino hack was done
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:22:48 PM): ppl need to find another way to make money lol
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:23:04 PM): gettin chicks
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:23:07 PM): they are willing to buy coins but no one can sell things so they can sell coins
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:24:02 PM): gettin chicks?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:24:10 PM): yea
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:24:13 PM): tradin chicks
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:24:17 PM): get bitchs
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:24:21 PM): let them work other countries
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:24:23 PM): u get coins
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:24:25 PM): loooooooooooool
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:24:28 PM): OMG
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:24:43 PM): thats slavery
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:24:50 PM): you are sick
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:25:11 PM): loooooooooooooooooool
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:25:29 PM): brb i go to bathroom
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:25:38 PM): you have one strange sense of humor
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:26:05 PM): how much pot of gold
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:26:59 PM): not much
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:27:14 PM): look at events
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:27:38 PM): wat event
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:27:44 PM): hey you know all that seasonal crap i nthe contemporary
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:27:48 PM): house?
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:27:54 PM): tea
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:27:55 PM): i miss it.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:27:56 PM): tyea
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:27:57 PM): yea
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:28:06 PM): you won't sell it.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:28:10 PM): no
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:28:11 PM): its there
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:28:12 PM): lol
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:28:18 PM): i know.
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 4:28:18 PM): i never touched it
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:28:32 PM): stacked in a fugly pile you don't do seasonals lol
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:29:04 PM): i want it. grrrrrr
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:29:11 PM): okay look in events
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:29:24 PM): they should tell you how much pot of gold is worth.
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 4:29:36 PM): or do you mean going through and finding them on profiles?
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 5:18:34 PM): will you be around for a while? i am sick so i have to take a nap. and no it isn't the swine flu lol
mr.xrays (5/28/2009 5:18:44 PM): im here
masteroftheobvious (5/28/2009 5:19:08 PM): okay well i am glad ryan and candy came to their senses.

banned from omp...lol

2009-03-07T13:44:00.002-06:00

Well, to me it ws just a lovely bodyscape, but i guess her hand covering her girl bits looked a bit clutched into it. should have seen the photos where she iddn't cover them. lmao

new images

2009-03-04T17:16:00.003-06:00

so having rebecca coming to town is always inspiring, and she is leaving tomorrow. we only did 2 shoots, but we are going for a third tonight. prolly just trying to redo some of the boschian fruit images we did with hotlights on her first bodypaing experience with me....anyhow, enough for now, more later

Winter blahs

2009-02-22T15:21:00.002-06:00

yes, I have not written for a few months. I have been in deep depression and have a wonderful excess of apathy and lack of inspiration. Anyone with some extra is welcome to give me some more. I have not been editing. I have not been doing anything. All I know, is that this too will pass. I have nothing wrong in my life except the artistic temperment that seems to sometimes envelope me in melancholy. I am looking forwsrd to having peole come and stay with me or stop by from march 3-14th....so please call me if you are interested in bringing some inspiration to the Lapis hotel. I just started photographing old bulding the other week, I have pink high heels and a matching new wig which i need to add, and I apologize for not editing more photos for those muses who have inspired me. I will be doing more. Just can't do it when I am in this funk. But don't worry, Lapis is a survivor, and I will be back..(and better than ever?)

Jessamyn came to town

2008-12-22T03:16:00.003-06:00

And I threw her in the snow for 15 frames before she looked like she was gonna die, and then took her into my bathroom in the middle of the night and did a lot of edits. Used the infrared filter on the greenish reddish floor one which is a version tghat I am not posting on my other sites. I should show some of my filter fun image. They are good but I think also more interesting in print sized.

Kudos

2008-12-13T03:00:00.001-06:00

To all of those I have not been reading or following as I am a bad bad person who is in their own world. i have a lot of stuff i need to get out, but I have been editing again and will be back for ranting and humor soon. If not before March, then in March (thank you seasonal affective disorder.)

Bob Randall is funny as all hell :D

2008-11-12T22:35:00.002-06:00

Not only a brilliant commercial photographer, Mr. Randall and I have worked together a few times and hung out more. I got him hooked on model mayhem....for the betterment of the site I would like to think :D haha.

Anyhow, might as well see some of the images he did of me to contrast the ones he posts on the sides of CTA busses.

Been MODELING again...YES

2008-11-10T14:04:00.002-06:00

After Magritte and a recent scene from the lapishotel

2008-11-10T13:52:00.003-06:00

One of the problems of a busy life is there is so much I think about and so many things to say, and I have so many things I do, that I neglect my blog...so many thoughts and ideas I want to share. However, here is a recent photo of my house and a recent edit of my latest model Chrissy...the image reminded me a bit of magritte...

Photo of Chrissy by me

Charles Arbogast

For anyone who knows anything about palmistry (I don't)

2008-11-04T14:20:00.003-06:00

This is my right hand....I tried to sharpen and show all the lines so that it will show detail clearly. Obviously not like the real thing, but at least a start...

Things about me

2008-11-04T13:40:00.002-06:00

I haven't written for a while...have been experiencing a period of introspection, so I decided to do a stream of consciousness kind of expression of what I have been thinking about. Of course it is my favorite topic: me. But not just me, but my place in the universe and an examination of what attracts me and what I hold dear, and what things have remained constant throughout my life.

I will start by mentioning things that have been said about me throughout my life and that have stuck with me...

"your life is like a movie"
"are you psychic"
"you are a witch"
"you are both the most observant and the most oblivious person I have ever met" (I like this one a lot)
"Have you ever thought that you may be ADD?" (my response to this one was poor...)
"You are one of the few women I met who not only laughs at jokes, but makes them...most women are not 'funny'...you are"
"you have a sick sense of humor"
"you swear like a sailor"
"We think you may have a drinking problem" (when I was 18)
"You are not an alcoholic....you like cocaine" (this was about 10 years ago...and is actually much more accurate....my drugs of choice were marijuana (which I smoked everyday for about 16 years and didn't consider a drug at the time)
"when you want to, you really have flair"
"you are a really good artist, why aren't you in galleries?"
"Why haven't you achieved more with all your abilities?" (because I don't have the ability or desire to market myself? and because I prefer to create than make money?)
"I envy you, because you have chosen to be free rather than a slave to convention"
"What the hell kind of person are you?"
"you are soooo ghetto girl!" (shouted at me in the middle of the night after I came up with some kind of smartass retort while tripping on mushrooms and walking around barefoot with some friends in the middle of chicago) (can you tell I went through a bit of a 'crazy period'
"you could be just another mall girl, but somehow, you are not"
"for someone of your intelligence, it is amazing how emotional you can be at the same time"
"you are a classic case of bipolar I" (10 years ago when I was diagnosed by a very good physchiatrist, at least during my crisis period)
"you are a good cookie with a chemical imbalance...a lot of people diagnosed with bipolar actually have nasty personality disorders."
"You have gotten fat...you should exercise more" (after I had been taking an antipsychotic for a year with full knowledge I would put on 50 lbs, because I went manic even WITH a lot of medication and decided my body could get better, but my brain needed to be stabilized first) This previous comment was by my father, who is a medical doctor. Needless to say, I did feel like slapping him.
"Are you sure you need medication? can't you just meditate and exercise?" (from people who have no idea what my disease really is...and yes, exercise and meditation helps...but I will have to take these medications for the rest of my life...at least I am not a zombie...and with the help of amazing doctors and my generally supportive family and friends I have been able to lower the dosages to a reasonable level, which makes it more necessary for me to avoid stress....)
"It doesn't matter what size you are, or what age, you alway have and always will ooze sex"

Okay, this is part one...what other have said about me....

Sick, Depressed, busy and PMSing

2008-10-21T13:51:00.000-05:00

ugh. I need to do more writing on here, have a few rants I have to get out, but just had time to drop in and say I am still here :D

a quick quote

2008-10-02T19:54:00.001-05:00

from the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal.
there are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses and idiots.

— mikhail bakunin

If you are the former, consider joining my facebook group or asking to join, i am trying to make a fun pseudo intellectual secret commuity...even though I am the only one posterbating to it now.

getting out of the habit

2008-09-22T23:50:00.003-05:00

Have not been posting here as much as I should, I know. Have been doing a lot of shooting though, and have become temporarily obsessed with facebook, particularly (hangs head) mobwars. Oh well, I have phasal addictions...some seem to stay...art, caffeine, cigarettes. Though sometimes the form of art changes, I am currently attempting to persuade myself to make a FEW new pieces that will sell for the art show this friday, because as all artists know...I need the effing money! Unfortunately I do not appear to have an agent, any sponsors, nor am I willing to work a normal job (scratch that, ABLE...I am unable to work a normal job, lord knows I have tried) Soooo, have been chilling out lately...need to burn more candles and look into stupid stock photography and other things I am not capable of. One step at a time huh? I was built for vacations and creation...not this silly making money stuff....So just buy my stuff will you? (this is a call out to the universe...not anyone in particular.) Here are some of my recent photos.

ALEX

ELIZABETH SUSAN CARTER

JESSAMYN (playing with one of my pieces of jewelry)

SHALONDRA RAE

SHALONDRA RAE

more fun quotes

2008-09-10T09:41:00.002-05:00

George Jonad, on Femininity, Beethoven's Mask pg 117:

Once I told Father that I was dating a bright girl.
"How bright?" he asked.
"An IQ of 130, maybe more," I said proudly.
"Drop her instantly," said Father, "This minute. I beg of you."

He swivelled on the piano stool to face me. "Brains are a burden," he continued, "to both men and womean. However, men are a little sturdier. They can cope with a slightly larger quantity of grey matter. Men usually start cracking around and IQ of 150. Women begin showing the strain around 125.

"Some people think that intelligent women aren't attractive. That's baseless prejudice. Intelligent women can be beautiful, and often are. They can also be affectionate lovers and excellent cooks. The problem's different"

"A woman of high IQ is likely to be unstable. Not always, obviously, but nine times out of ten. She'll be given to swings of mood and fits of temper--if not outright hallucinations. Steer clear."

"Figures often beguile me," Twain wrote, "particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: 'There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.'"

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/007251.html

Yet for Some Reason, Not When It's Burning Three Inches from My Face

Asian chick: Do you have an extra cigarette?
Tall dude: Yeah, sure.
Asian chick: Do you have a light?
Tall dude: Yeah, here you go.
Asian chick: Can you light it for me? I'm afraid of fire.

--Cosmic Cantina, Park Slope

Overheard by: worst pick up line ever

random quotes....

2008-09-09T22:28:00.000-05:00

“ Beautiful women are invisible; we’re so dazzled by the outside that we never make it inside.
— George O’Hearn – ‘Elegy’

thw wide world of balloon fetish

2008-09-08T14:19:00.001-05:00

http://www.wideworldofloon.com/

If you have a twisted sense of humour or like girls dry humping balloons, this is a site for you.

Some crying women and a model orgy

2008-09-05T01:38:00.002-05:00

need to post some of my crying pictures, the crying game...and thre is going to be a model orgy here this weekend.....only girls allowed or boys willing to be total sub mannequins.

lots of ideas

2008-09-05T01:34:00.002-05:00

It is raining here...sometimes like my tropical storms. I don't have time right now to say much....so heres some images.....

Pandering for OMP dollars

2008-08-31T13:57:00.002-05:00

Well, many of my favorite photos are not really appreciated by a glamour site, but I was sick of having my one muse Rebecca as the only model on my lower model showcase thing. I have now pretty much nailed down what images of mine will get 'tagged' so I did a quick 15 minute edit and posted it on Anyas page....sure enough, 15 minutes later, there it was. I know it is pandering, but at least I posted it on my model port. I was getting driven crazy by the fact that there were odd numbers there. Somehow I prefer even numbers...lmao

Without further ado...the 15 minute pandering edit...which is also available as an 18 x 24 print....in case anyone is interested....which is unlikely since most people who read this thing are as poor as i am. however, I am starting to actively look for signed print trades with other artists...Still need to get and frame stuff from a few people I have collected from....and without further ado, here is the omp dollar

From ENTP to INTP

2008-08-31T13:35:00.000-05:00

Before I was medicated, I wan an ENTP...I am still close, but apparently without mania, I don't like people so much....

Back from vacation...2 wweks in Canada, no internet...

2008-08-27T14:02:00.002-05:00

Too many things to write...and of course, I managed to get repetitive stress issues with my left hand, so I can't really type too much out. Here are some macros I did...Let me tell you...macros are fucking HARD to do :D

Model Session With Brian Moss

2008-08-13T15:37:00.002-05:00

Natural LIght Fetish Play club

2008-08-13T15:34:00.002-05:00

What they wanted

2008-08-13T15:25:00.005-05:00

Since I discovered bt Charles and I are going to be in ths same gallery thing, I decided I should probably show some of the work that I actually do post on other than my blog....I also have more, but can't find the small .jpgs on my drive...I think I'll also post another series and some of my erotic modeling shots...i also felt that I was more erotic as a model. I am trying to do more natural light editorial stuff, which I have gotten back to more, and I still need to do some edits of those....

The hell of too many photos

2008-08-11T21:25:00.002-05:00

I try to arrange my folders into dates and names...but I have recently been scanning old files for still good content and moving the old drives into storage as backup....so, I am basically moving at least a terabyte of memory from one place to another. I have been requested to find three print files of edits I have done for a gallery show...NO PROBLEM....except apparently it is.....Now I am trying desperately to find all the print files....grrrrr. I have found 3 out of four and am now simultanously copying four folders from one drive to another and indexing the first drive to search folders by date. I probably shouldn't be doing all this at one time...in fact I should probably cancel the search by date function until the other folders are copied...Okay, I am going to do that now. GRRRRR x2

edis

2008-08-11T13:10:00.001-05:00

More fun at the Lapis hotel

2008-08-09T19:16:00.006-05:00

Just had to get this off my desktop....

2008-08-07T11:33:00.001-05:00

This is classic...haha

Guy Bourdin influence?

2008-08-06T16:19:00.004-05:00

The first two images are bourdin, and the black and white one is mine...I think Jurgen Teller did some too....will have to google him now....and that japanese guy...of course, they are all different....looking I can see I do have my own take...I like ambiguity, and am working in doing it in more documentary instead of studio settings.

As promised

2008-08-06T16:15:00.004-05:00

I couldn't upload my pretty pictures examples, so I shall do so now, and then in the next post show some work I did with Rebecca and my next door neighbor Justin. But first, you must see some non human natural light nature things

Mental Illness....

2008-08-04T20:25:00.003-05:00

Is biologies way of keeping us from evolving too fast :D Everyone I know is brilliant, and neurotic, and most need some kind of medication...myself included. Thank God I am on the meds I need. I could rant about the health care and education system in this country...have been thinking about both of those lately, but I don't feel like being really ranty or angry right now. So, I will find a happy picture :D

I am officially a networking whore

2008-08-04T16:33:00.002-05:00

in the webs in which I spin, showing my sites, you will now noticed I joined Facebook AND Flickr...after finding that 'everyone I knew or at least 10% of them' had already sold out and I haven't touched myspace in a while. Besides, I want to get more traffic towards my random ramblings on this blog, because I am also a comment whore...more here I think than anywhere else....However, I do not expect that stupid comment for comment thing...ugh. Just like to hear input. Insults or criticism are especially enjoyed :D

Okay, lets just see if I can avoid twitter and delicious (already have stumbleupon) and Digg it....otherwise I will never get ANYTHING done.

Doing some shooting today, both sides of the lens. The birthday girl is drinking, so I am going to have to grab the reflector and do it fast as I don't know how long she will last.....we also have a built in photo assistant reflector holder who is tall and is wearing s suit...so he'll make a good prop. I hope this actually WORKS before the birthday celebration takes over.

Film, Digital, and natural light..

2008-08-03T16:28:00.005-05:00

Titania...Digital but going back to natural light. I should have had a reflector here to fill in her front a bit more, but next time

The magical MME PYCHOSIS She allowed me to do her injustice with my camera when I first got it. I miss her. Need to go to NYC and see/shoot her again :D Of course, everyone who has ever shot her says the same thing...she leaves one feeling that they need to work with her as many times as possible to capture her intelligence and ephemeral energy. I am happy to know her.

SIN ake Rachel, need to shoot her again...this was in a dark basement, natural light if lightbulbs count...they do to me obviously....Needed a bit more light here, or a tripod. I kind of don't like tripods, but they are necessary for some work I do. For my macros, I can manage with a monopod....

Private Commision. This girl was a trip. She really helped me jump by photographing her, was a natural model, but unfortunately too high maintenance with mysterious vices that I cannot partake of for me to continue our relationship. She did buy this print though, and while it is digital, I feel that it has filmic qualities....(not to mention a filter that imitates film grain)...and have had several people ask me if it is film...no, it is not.

THIS IS FILM circa 1991 When I was in art school...has that great photo 1 black and white uber contrasty style, but I like it....a lot. We were waiting in line in the Sisters of Mercy concert....those are old friends of mine...Matt Massana and Adrienne...who was cool but crazy....they were fun as hell though, as was Danielle Dax and the Sisters. I had a tour t-shirt I kept forever until like so much of my stuff, it disappeared into the whirlpool of chaos I experienced in 1996-2000. The print was safely at my parents place, so like so much of my original film photography, I found it. I need to find the negatives. I did a lot of color negs, and damn, it took 8 hours and a million test strips to get the color even half assed right.

Even though I love photoshop and digital, and will continue to use it as a medium, I am really missing doing just black and white film camera stuff. Hotlights, no strobes, natural light, etc. Maybe even colour, but I don't know anyone who could do infrared and cross processed procedures with me. I really love polaroid and large format and alternative process and 4 x 5 collage....alas, I don't have the money or time or know the right people to do it full time. However, a pentax K100 and some tri x 400 might be a good place to start.....

I hate reading instructions

2008-08-03T16:26:00.001-05:00

So I can't edit my posts once I publish them. the models in the previous post are Rebecca Laurence boypainting, and Bliss in her boots

Time Alone

2008-08-03T16:20:00.002-05:00

Here are two images that appear to be iconic for a lot of people...guess two in two years isn't so bad.....

Ahhh. I love it, and yet too much of it drives me crazy. I have about 6 hours to myself....going to do some editing, etc. Trying to find those stupid outtakes of life around here. Everyone around me is going through some sort of trauma. I thank god, am not at the moment, other than I have a lot of things to do and the top one on my list appears to be : Procrastination!

Here are two images that appear to be iconic for a lot of people...guess two in two years isn't so bad.....

Feeling a bit inspired?

2008-08-01T16:45:00.003-05:00

Well, the last few days I was experiencing the ever so fun depression/emotional anxiety of...PMS...I know, for you guys out there, you don't want to hear about it, so we will move along :D. Today I have been playing with colourlovers.com, which is, by the way almost universally reviewed as a powerful color and design tool...if you like color, check it out. Also, I added a few photoshop links to my ever expanding blog list for those of you who enjoy screwing around with PS. After not editing for a while, I think I am going to dig into a few old files and see what I can do with some photos that I could not do justice before....They are actually from a set with Rebecca...long story short one of our amazing collaborative bodypaintings and the strobes didn't work, so I had to shoot with a narrow depth of field and high ISO....so, they are dark, brownish and grainy. Which isn't necessariy a bad thing. A few of them are renaissance inspired, and remind me of the faces made of fruit by Italian Painter (insert name and images here later)...so here is Rebecca, who is HERE again :D for her birthday and hanging out at Lollapalooza with my neighbor and friend Jen, and I am inside as the heat would give me heatstroke :D

Okay, now for some images As they were edited at the time and also a Lapishotel pic of my neighbor Jen (Lapishotel spills over there, her place is kind of an annex)

REBECCA BODYSCAPES

JEN AT HOME

What a long strange trip it has been

2008-07-28T11:17:00.002-05:00

ANOTHER BIZARRE DREAM

I just woke up, So I will try to get this down.

I went on a tour in bus, they picked me up in Chicago. I didn't know anyone there, about 8 different hippie types in their 20's and 30's. We went camping, traveling along the oceanfront the whole way. We slept in the woods in tents. This friendly girl offered me to let her stay in the tent. I remember we went shopping in groceries for food, did potlucks, and then things got bizarre.

I started interacting with the water, found another kind of world, and became impregnated by something from the water...I do not know what, other than it was a reptilian, amphibious, or fish form, sentient, and that I had an egg inside me. I fel pregnant. This was supposed to be a special thing. The gestation period lasted two weeks I was told. I remember feeling this thing inside of me, but it was not a frightening presence, it was kind of fascinating, and I felt that it was not going to be a child of mine, that i was only a vessel.

Then there was a blank period. The next thing I remembered is getting off the bus in a parking garage in what i knew was Chicago. I was kind of surprised at how quickly they left me and a few other people, as I don't recall wanting to get off the bus. I thought that they had left my suitcase in the bus as I did not have time to look through it. Turns out they had carried out all baggage that was not theirs and I found my suitcase, but i had apparently called them, they came back just to make sure . Then they left again. Then David came to pick me up. He asked me about the trip. I realized I had blacked out for a long time...days....and did not know what happened. I had a feeling that nothing much had happened, but by the way I was kind of unceramoniously dumped off, it was as if I had behaved oddly. David helped me piece together that perhaps I had had a manic episode. Looking back, I was certain I did, and that i had remembered smoking pot...which in real life I have not done for over a year. This upset me as not only do I not really want to smoke pot (am trying the drug free kind of thing...another story) and perhaps a hallucinigen that I had not remembered taking, though I doubt that, because I know that taking any form of hallucinigan in my past has led to mania in my waking life. There was no rememberance of the egg, but fear at blacking out in a total way that I never have done before. I was definitely not carrying anything inside me anymore, but as I spoke with David, that was not the part I remembered. I remembered camping one night, looking out the window at the beautiful ocean, and several days of nothing.

I was not very happy at not knowing things. The only time I have had overload and not remembered anything is when I have been psychotically manic (in real life) Then i realized that what had seemed to be a spiritual awakening was yet another of my manic episodes.

*End of dream*

I remember my dreams more when I keep sleeping past the normal period. David and I went canoing yesterday, it was beautiful, but hot, and my body reacts poorly to too much heat. Or it could have been other things. Basically, I slept from 4 pm yesterday to 9 pm, took some pills to help me get back to sleep including my nasty anti parkinsons drug for my restless leg syndrome, and went back to sleep from 11 pm til about 8 am. I was up for about an hour, then went to sleep from 9-11 again this morning. That is when I had this dream.

I do finally feel awake though....and I have new boxes to put my jewelry. I am getting rid of old necklaces and also realized that I am never going to use all of the beads of glass I bought a few years ago. I do not need 1000 necklaces worth of czech glass. So I think I am going to package some up to sell at the artwalk and also possibly e-bay. I am afraid of e-bay though because then if I get a store I may start buying tons of stuff to sell there....like thrift store lots, vollers corsets, costume jewelry, and everything I am good at searching out.

Regardless, these are my thoughts for the day. Hmmm. Okay, no wonder I must do meaningless things sometimes.

If you have the time....

2008-07-26T13:34:00.004-05:00

this is the best site for memes where you can waste hours answering hundreds of questions.
http://web.tickle.com/

More about ME:

as if the blogthing tests have not shown enough, I have always known I am an eccentric, an epicurean, and unable to work for anyone else. I love collaborations and will share anything I own except for my computer....I don't like anyone touching my computer.

Here are some things I do like:

The DSM IV tm

fascinating movies with good cinematography

Not being able to have one favorite band, king of music, movie, book, etc.

tests that are very intensive and complicated and actually tell me about myself

gemstones and beading and great jewelry finds...

bodypainting...the best canvas is living skin!

Wet process prints....even though I shoot digital. I long for more film when I have the money to get a film camera etc.

seeing new things

Collecting beautiful things from clothes to art to little objects to jewelry to masks to fabric....i need lots of storage bins.

Going places for a long period of time so I can soak in the culture

Studying different subcultures of people and finding people who are interesting enough to really get to know

The ability to find such people quickly and interact with them

Having someone stay with me past my nervous talking stage and really getting to know each other.

Being intuitive enough and having enough experience to make others think I am a psychic witch.

Being a psychic witch

Using old forms of personality indicators such as numerology and tarot to find out what things people respond to as an indicator of who they are. I believe that true intuitives can use all kinds of tools to find out what people know and think about themselves as well as things they reject so strongly it indicates conflict.

Not reading the news because it is basically irrelevent to my life, unless someone else tells me.

Learning about great things I don't know about from others. I.E. music, books artists

Turning other people on to stuff I love

Candles and making a fire last for a long time

Water. I cannot live somewhere that is landlocked. I need a river or a lake or an ocean nearby. Otherwise I dry up.

studying things like voudou and mythology and all kinds of symbols from different cultures.

More later. These were just off the cuff.

Now onto editing and simcountry.....

Okay, these are too simple....I like the ENTP ones...meyers briggs, MMPI, etc. and I am too lazy to find those now :D

2008-07-26T13:29:00.001-05:00

Your Birthdate: February 7

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy.

And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you.

Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights.

You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice!

Your strength: Your self sufficiency

Your weakness: You despise authority

Your power color: Maroon

Your power symbol: Hammer

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

This one is a lie...I am water or air...grrrr. and this is the second time they say I am yellow....grrrrrr hate yellow too.

2008-07-26T13:25:00.001-05:00

Your Power Element is Earth

Your power color: yellow

Your energy: balancing

Your season: changing of seasons

Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends.

You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems.

Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones.

Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful.

What's Your Power Element?

One of my favorite colors, but not in blogs. Why should I create a meme when I can take them....

2008-07-26T13:23:00.000-05:00

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.

You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.

You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Actually I think it ws this one...did I mention this one just asks for your name...it is totally random...

2008-07-26T13:19:00.000-05:00

You Are The Magician

You are powerful and wise - beyond what anyone can see.

Deeply complex, you have the resources to connect to the spiritual and material world.

You posses the knowledge to manipulate your life and the lives around you.

You also have a great healing power, should you choose to use it.

Your fortune:

You have unhidden powers that you have yet to tap into.

Soon, you will better understand how to use your intellect and intuition.

Believe it or now, you will discover how you can manipulate yourself and others for good.

You are at the beginning of a path of spiritual enlightenment.

What Tarot Card Are You?

I would have to agree with this one....I think in numerology I get this one...have to find out again.

2008-07-26T13:18:00.002-05:00

You Are The Fool

You are a fascinating person who is way beyond the concerns of this world.

Young at heart, you are blissfully unaware of any dangers ahead.

You are a true wanderer - it has be difficult finding your place in this world.

Full of confidence, you are likely to take a leap of faith.

Your fortune:

You are about to embark on a new phase in your life.

This may mean changing locations, jobs, friends, or love status.

You are open about what the future will bring, and free of worry.

You have made your peace with fate, and you're ready to start down your new path.

What Tarot Card Are You?

I think this is starting to be posterbation?

2008-07-26T13:16:00.000-05:00

You Should Be a Painter

You have the vision, patience, and skill to bring your unique visions to canvas.

And you're even tempered enough not to cut your ear off in the process!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

nah...I am not bored or obsessive or procrastinatin

2008-07-26T13:14:00.001-05:00

You Should Drive a Pink Car

You're the type of driver who really loves your car.

You can make a car last for ages - or take good care of a vintage ride.

You're independent, creative, and very expressive.

You consider your car a part of you ... and you want to make it as funky as possible.

What Color Car Should You Drive?

Some happenings at the lapis hotel

2008-07-26T13:05:00.002-05:00

I don't do enough documentary photography, and I have a lot more images I must dig up, but here are some that are easily accessible that show a few outtakes of the lapis hotel....

Oh, some of these were during photoshoots, but that doesn't make them less real....None of these were posed :D

This is why I do economic strategies on a war game....

2008-07-26T13:01:00.000-05:00

You Are Not Destined to Rule the World

You are destined for something else...

Like inventing a new type of cupcake.

You just don't have the stomach for brutality.

But watch out - because many people do!

Are You Destined For World Domination?

less addictive than I thought...hahaha

2008-07-26T12:59:00.001-05:00

Your Personality is 49% Addictive

You may have an addictive personality, but you have it mostly under check.

Just don't start any new bad habits, okay?

Do You Have an Addictive Personality?

i was honest here....because who cares what goddess I am...I wanted to know :D

2008-07-26T12:57:00.001-05:00

You Are Artemis!

Brave, and a natural born leader.

You're willing to fight for what you believe in...

And willing to make tough decisions.

Don't forget - the people around you have ideas too!

What Goddess Are You?

okay, maybe I lied a little bit....

2008-07-26T12:54:00.001-05:00

Your EQ is 147

You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.

You are warm and open. Even when life gets you down, you're unafraid of the world and its challenges.

You are comfortable with who you are. And you accept your weaknesses - as well as the weaknesses of others.

While you are quite stable, you don't respond perfectly to every bad situation that comes up.

But you have enough emotional intelligence to know when you need a course correction.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Why I love memes...Pt I

2008-07-26T12:49:00.001-05:00

Your EQ is 173

Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Seriously though, your whole "Don't Worry, Be Happy" philosophy is really what defines emotional intelligence.

You're warm, open, and very optimistic. You know how to act appropriately, even if you don't feel like it.

You are a good communicator, and you have little difficulty with personal relationships - even when you're dealing with difficult people.

In general, you are successful, capable, together person. You get what you want out of life.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Strange Dreams

2008-07-24T19:59:00.002-05:00

David came back, and as always, I slept a lot, kind of a decompression, a relaxation of myself. When i sleep a lot, I get strange dreams. So let me try to write this one down. In this dream, my maternal grandmother and my female first cousin are meeting me at a house. The house isn't really large or small, but most of it occurs in the upstairs, which is primarily without furniture except for a double bed and there is another room downnstairs where they made a room up for myself and David. The bed where I am staying upstairs is the one I am dreaming I am laying in. It is dark, kind of in an attic, and there is a balcony to the outside with stairs from the first floor. I sense a backyard, but there are curtains. David is also coming home, but I am unable to fully wake up and talk to anyone. The house is occupied by two men, I believe they are my old boyfriend andy's friends from college but instead they take the role of my friends, who used to dislike Andy's friends. But they are male. So, My grandmother and my cousin and David are not there yet. They give me this bed to sleep in until everyone arrives and then they are preparing a room to sleep in.

In reality, in waking life, my grandmother has been dead for many years and suffered Alzheimers for many years before then. David arrived but I could not really wake up, i just remember my friends coming up and kind of bitching about him. Then my grandmother came into my room, and I could not move. I was awake, and worked very hard to get off the bed to say hello. She saw me waking up and I reached my hands up so she could pull me up. She was able to do this with a strong grasp. Then I went out onto the balcony and had a cigarette and talked with her, I do not remember what about. Then I went back to sleep. Then David came back and said they had made a room for us, and I acknowldeged that and went back to sleep, again. I kept trying to get up. Then my cousin, who was also younger than she is now, arrived and I tried to get off the bed. She could not pull me up. I made a large effort to raise myself and then of course woke up from the dream.

I also recall an earlier dream where David and myself were living/moving into a larger house, and it was in kind of a weird suburb, there were woods, the house was wood, but still too many neighbors with similiar houses for me to feel happy. I think we had a golf course adjoining the backyard of this house.

I cannot really interpret these dreams, but i did wake up and tell david that we had to move all the excess boxes to quan's apartment and all the other stuff cluttering my living room When i woke up. He said he already knew that i had been thinking that.
Maybe all of the new stuff in here, the nice bed, the clutter, makes me feel that i am moving in again.

Anyhow, I can clean up what I have better if we get all the unnecessary stuff out and move it into the basement instead of the first floor. Quan, our neighbor left for China and his apartment is paid for until the end of July. Thank God I can get the stuff out of my house so I can clean up what I want and then have the other stuff in the basement.

P.S. when one is dreaming their body is literally paralyzed to keep them from acting out the movements in their dream. So when one is slightly lucid, and unable to really wake up, sometimes this happens. At least to me I have had several dreams where I know I need to fully operate, adn when I work on actually moving, I wake up.

More fun pictures later...haha.

Today is NOT the day to give up smoking

2008-07-22T22:18:00.004-05:00

ELANA

ALEX

SMOKER

SMOKERS....FILM SCAN FROM 1991...FRIENDS WAITING IN LINE AT SISTERS OF MERCY CONCERT

PHOTOGRAPH OF ME

SMOKER TIME LAPSE IN BDSM NIGHTCLUB

Ugh. Listening to Amy Winehouse. My friend Elana stopped by and spent the night last night...hadn't seen her in a long time. she stopped by again today, and was going to call me about hanging out with some friends later on but she hasn't called yet, and it is getting past the time I will leave the house. David is coming back in less than 48 hours, Thurday morning early, which is good because I am not fully happy to be alone all the time. Friends been good, Alex ended up coming back and spending sat night with me, and my studio partner stopped by unexpectedly with an entourage Sunday....a makeup artist fresh out of beauty school who didn't really know photographic makeup, two models, another photographer and himself. He didn't expect to stop by and usually gives me more notice, so I had Alex and several strangers around in a messy house, which kind of triggered a wonderful anxiety attack. She, being the wonderful friend that she is yanked me out of the house for a few hours and we had a wonderul talk. So, I have been catching up with friends the last few days. Had a very good phone call with an old photographer of mine who I worked with quite a bit. Over 4 years, our relationship disentegrated for reasons I choose not to go into here, but he was one of the only people i have resentment towards. This conversation was extremely good at helping both of us set up the basis for at least coming to terms with our strange experiences together. I know we will never be the kind of friends we were, but I feel that my anger towards him has dissolved to a big extent, and that makes me feel much lighter. I don't like holding grudges, and now it appears that I don't have left. I can move on. If only I could clean my jewelry up. I guess that will come tomorrow. I wanted to see if I could have a friend come to spend a few hours with me, but at this point it looks like other than a few minutes with my neighbor I am going to be alone again. There are so many creative things I could be doing, but I am just working through myself. Oh well. Another photo of Alex, Elana, on the photographer took of me, and a wish for others that they may also have any anger and resentment towards others fall away. One cannot fly with rocks on ones ankles.

I need to edit a few of my documentary photos I took on sunday, mainly of my house in total disarray....but I figured if it was stock photography day..."shoot the day" I may as well shoot off some images documenting the lapis hotel.

One of my good friends stopped by today.

2008-07-19T17:24:00.002-05:00

And of course she is also one of my models. She is insanely busy and a total adreneline junkie...when she is not working on finishing her double major at Indiana University in Bloomington, she is working as a professional bellydance, doing hula tonight for a private party, and driving over a 1000 miles a week on her new Audi TT....it matches her personality. I don't want to know how fast she drives. Anyway, we have to find a flower to put in her hair....as always, it is fun and too brief when I see her. Maybe I can seduce her back here tonight to watch bad movies or something. Before she leaves me devestated and alone again for another night without David. He is out of town for the week, and it is really hard for me to sleep when no one else is in the house. At least I am watching a lot of movies? Met with a client yesterday and another tomorrow, so I am getting out of the house etc, just wish I had more friends over to hang out with. I guess I need to call and pester some people. hahaha.

only four posts...

2008-07-18T21:20:00.001-05:00

TV Reviews

And my blog test thingie says you must be a genius to read this. How intuitive of it :D

My history with Vodou

2008-07-17T22:16:00.003-05:00

My Neighbor, Mambo Marilyn...an anthropologist turned native: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Houlberg

Sculpture by Noah Vasilchick, old acquaintence and initiated Vodou and Santaria practitioner

Rebecca Laurence in the Lapis Hotel, posed in front of a Haitian snake sculpture with my favorite dangerous habit, lighting my glass table on fire with 91 percent distilled alcohol :D

Why the Lapis Hotel

2008-07-15T23:10:00.004-05:00

Because, this is where it happens. I have a multitude of outtakes but this one taken by marc whipple of me hanging out is a good start. Not really able to post a lengthy one today, but wanted to explain the title.

Kudos to Michael Rosen for calling my house the Lapis hotel as well as calling me famous lapis....that made me feel special at the time until I found out he called all his fave models famous...haha. However, I somehow took that and put it in my e mails. so, there we go. famouslapis and the Lapis hotel. courtesy of Michael Rosen.

The Fabulous Puking Cat

2008-07-12T12:09:00.004-05:00

I love my cat, she is my familiar. She is also an inveterate shredder, and every two weeks regardless of brushing, she spits up a spectacular hairball, which is easy to pick up, and occasionally some other wonderful things like half undigested food (usually if I don't take her food away after she throws up the hairball and gets hungry then overeats and starts throwing up again :D)

Cat people will appreciate this, dog people will probably find it disgusting...but hey, she doesn't pee on the floor, she is as affectionate as any dog, follows me everywhere, and is there all the time. A few hairballs is really a minor tradeoff, albeit a bit disconcerting when she insists on doing it when we are sleeping, particularly on our duvet cover. So, this morning we had to push her off the bed and I had to go to the first floor which is wood so any pukiness could be cleaned up with a minimum of mess. Of course, there is a bed there too and because of my mid cleaning cycle, there are also nice things on the floor like 2 dollar a sheet photo paper (in package) and lots of jewelry...soooooo inspiration to pick up I guess.

above you will see the infamous puker. Her name is Aura, and it took me three years to get this image. It seems that the only time she will actually look at my camera or allowing me to photographer her is in the middle of the studio shoot as seen in the other photo.
The model is Kordelia Devonshire, and this is one of my favorite bodyscapes, Alas, it is too 'weird' for omp....I could post it there with my chicken bodyscape, but I leave those images for here. I'll have to find the chicken photo later....anyhow, off to bed since I have been up since 7am, but I will be back later with more photos and updates on my life. I will not be photographing hairballs yet.

It seemed brilliant at the time

2008-07-10T16:45:00.002-05:00

Cleaning the house today....having fun looking at all the found things in my huge bead collection which is intermixed with hundreds of semi organized DVD's, CD, both photo and audio...and of course old bills and random scraps of paper. Here is one I found:

Sometimes externally identical behaviour is inspired by completely different internal mechanisms.

Great. was I high, manic or was this the beginning of a thesis? doesn't matter. I have it down. Now I can throw it away. another scrap into the garbage, and cleaning continues.