Today is NOT the day to give up smoking

ELANA

ALEX


SMOKER


SMOKERS....FILM SCAN FROM 1991...FRIENDS WAITING IN LINE AT SISTERS OF MERCY CONCERT

PHOTOGRAPH OF ME

SMOKER TIME LAPSE IN BDSM NIGHTCLUB

Ugh. Listening to Amy Winehouse. My friend Elana stopped by and spent the night last night...hadn't seen her in a long time. she stopped by again today, and was going to call me about hanging out with some friends later on but she hasn't called yet, and it is getting past the time I will leave the house. David is coming back in less than 48 hours, Thurday morning early, which is good because I am not fully happy to be alone all the time. Friends been good, Alex ended up coming back and spending sat night with me, and my studio partner stopped by unexpectedly with an entourage Sunday....a makeup artist fresh out of beauty school who didn't really know photographic makeup, two models, another photographer and himself. He didn't expect to stop by and usually gives me more notice, so I had Alex and several strangers around in a messy house, which kind of triggered a wonderful anxiety attack. She, being the wonderful friend that she is yanked me out of the house for a few hours and we had a wonderul talk. So, I have been catching up with friends the last few days. Had a very good phone call with an old photographer of mine who I worked with quite a bit. Over 4 years, our relationship disentegrated for reasons I choose not to go into here, but he was one of the only people i have resentment towards. This conversation was extremely good at helping both of us set up the basis for at least coming to terms with our strange experiences together. I know we will never be the kind of friends we were, but I feel that my anger towards him has dissolved to a big extent, and that makes me feel much lighter. I don't like holding grudges, and now it appears that I don't have left. I can move on. If only I could clean my jewelry up. I guess that will come tomorrow. I wanted to see if I could have a friend come to spend a few hours with me, but at this point it looks like other than a few minutes with my neighbor I am going to be alone again. There are so many creative things I could be doing, but I am just working through myself. Oh well. Another photo of Alex, Elana, on the photographer took of me, and a wish for others that they may also have any anger and resentment towards others fall away. One cannot fly with rocks on ones ankles.

I need to edit a few of my documentary photos I took on sunday, mainly of my house in total disarray....but I figured if it was stock photography day..."shoot the day" I may as well shoot off some images documenting the lapis hotel.